Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Me. Worried? Nah!

I am sitting here with lots of thoughts going through my mind. I can’t seem to grab one thought and hold onto it though. Lately, my life has been in the fast lane. I’ve hardly had anytime for myself. I have been going and going and going (sounds like the energizer bunny, huh?)

I get up in the morning, I love on my Tipi girl (my doggie), I eat a bowl of cereal, I go to classes, I come home and walk Tipi (she’s a little overweight, so I’m trying to change that so she will have a longer healthier life…and for your information, her obesity is not my fault. It’s my grandparent’s fault. My Pawpaw STILL slips her bacon under the table.) Anyway… after I walk the dog, I normally trot back up to the school to spend the rest of the night in the library working on some type of project. I’m in Advanced Public Speaking, so we have a lot of speeches to present and guess what?…..They’re advanced! Advanced is another word that means… time-consuming to the point of insanity. Then on top of that I have my senior project that is progressing, and I have my Spanish class that is the devil incarnate and 3 other classes that would make Obama write another stimulus package.

So anyway… when I do have a little extra time I will go to the gym to work out. Why? Because I live in a society that reflects highly on image, and I just so happen to pick the career field that is the most tedious of all on image reflection. However, I am not a gym lover. I’m not an exercise freak, and I’m not a health food junkie. So you can see where my problem lies, right?

Anyway… I am sitting here on the couch tonight… Tipi Tot is at my feet (she was at my side…but both of us can’t sit on the couch side by side because half of one of us is always hanging off.) I am trying to grasp hold of a few things in my mind. Most of it reflects on my career. I am not sure which area to shoot for first. I have an idea, but is it the right one? Will I be accepted? Will I make the most of it? Or Will I even get a job? Will it be the right one to start off with?

All of these questions are making room for “fear” to arise. It’s in my throat. To know that I only have two months of school left, and then I have to make a decision. I have to sort out all the files in my mind and prioritize them. I need a starting point of where I want to go in life. But where? I have an idea, but is it right?

Then it’s the worry of being 23 and knowing the last time that I dated a guy was back when I put little circles over the tops of my lowercase “i’s.” Mostly all of my friends I went to school with are married with children or engaged or in an extremely serious relationship with a guy and engagement is just around the corner for them. Me, however? I had planned to be married by 23 and kids by 24. Well… I’ve already passed my time limit… well for one of them anyway, however, one ain’t happening without the other! I can sure tell ya that much!

But anyway… amidst all of these chaotic thoughts, there’s something that always restores my peace-of-mind.

In Matthew chapter 6, verses 25-34, Jesus talks about worry. In fact, He even accuses His disciples (the ones who left everything to follow Him) of having little faith. Well, I can’t really say accused… because He KNEW they did. Imagine that, disciples of Christ failing on a daily basis. Who would have thought? :)

But Jesus teaches in this chapter that we should not worry. That God will always provide for us. He will always lead us to where He wants us to be.

What spoke to my heart tonight though, is that I don’t have to worry about tomorrow. I don’t have to worry about my next step… because I have the ultimate muscle that is going to take it for me….faith in God. He will not let us grow tired, and He will not let our lives be lived with anything that falls below abundance. My God is mighty to save and our fortress in time of need. He will direct our paths and give us a hope for our future. And He will impregnate our hearts with His desires for our life….and He will do it at just the right time. All we have to do is keep the faith and press on.

So do not worry…your heavenly Father knows what you need. –Instead of getting caught up in worry, -- seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Matthew 6:31-34